One Perfect Word

A prominent book on my shelf this year.

The fresh slate enabled by the coming of a new year is a welcome reward after surviving yet another year.  It is good to turn the page, start a new chapter, or perhaps even close the book and begin something completely new.  Though I wouldn't consider myself a junkie, I am always on the look out for the next book or program that might inspire.  For the last two years, a sale table has provided such a book.

During the first week of 2013, I meandered my way down the aisles at T.J. Max, one of my favorite places to find hidden treasures.  I have enjoyed 2 or 3 of Debbie Macomber's novels and saw her name on a nonfiction hardback for only $3.  I used to think that cheap meant it was a dismal failure -- not true, just perhaps under appreciated.

The first novel of her massive collection of works I discovered was "Twenty Wishes," a tale of hope and excitement about the future I can highly recommend.  I wondered how her nonfiction would be.

Even with a 20 plus year background in Christian ministry, I find most religious self help books insulting, fluffy and downright useless.  I was afraid Macomber would go the same direction, but she surprised me with a powerful read.  She puts forth her Christian beliefs in a simple matter of fact manner that attracts and disarms rather than the usual "shoving it down one another's throat" approach.  Thank you Debbie.

The gist of this book is that you find a meaningful word that you can live closely with for a year.  You put the word places where you can see it daily, study it, use it, live with it, chew on it, needlepoint it -- discover the depth of its meaning for you in a profoundly intimate way that takes you further on your spiritual journey.  Macomber shared from a number of years of her experience with having one perfect word each year.

I am a word person.  The power of words is unarguable. The power of one word can be razor like.  The power of a word that one has been inspired to grow with can be life changing.

With endless possibilities before me I couldn't wait to find my word for all of 2013.  I pondered the words-- "family," "journey," "love," and a few more.  Much of what I hope to do this year requires me to create and to fully engage in that act.  My perfect word is CREATE.

My perfect word, placed gently in a nest, waiting to be hatched, ready to grow with me.

 So create I shall!  In a multitude of ways I will create.  Already I have begun to see those six letter penned everywhere.  I suddenly hear it in sentences with implications bearing forth that I'd never seen before.  I do love an adventure and there is one being created to last me more than a year.

Post Christmas Thoughts

I love Christmas.  I mean I really love it.  I love most everything about Christmas -- the festive gatherings, giving gifts, receiving gifts, baking, eating what I've baked, eating what everyone else has baked, going to a party, making special gifts and on it goes.  As a rule, I get so busy and so excited over the holidays I get sick.  Out of my 50 Christmases, I may have been healthy for five of those.  I just get so wound up and burnt out, that I crash and burn at some point in December.  I really wish I didn't do that, but I don't foresee me changing much at this point in my life.

Even as a kid, I'd get so excited and sick that my parents would give me an early gift on my Dad's birthday (December 16), just to try to let off a little bit of the steam of excitement.  In retrospect, I really could have worked that even more to my advantage.

Not a single post got made regarding the Christmas season and I had a hopper full of ideas.   Here's some of the thoughts I've been hanging on to--

Christmas Thought #1

I haven't watched the children's movie "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer" since my kids were small, but I just delighted in letting myself watch the whole thing.  I hadn't remembered that reindeer could be as nasty as pre-teen girls with an attitude. What I did remember was that it wasn't Rudolph that had to change for his uniqueness to be celebrated -- it was the attitude of everyone else.  Once Santa realized what the one thing was that glowing red snozz could be used for, all was well for Rudy. 

So let's not wait for someone to name our worth, let's name it and claim it for ourselves!  I'd wager we each have something that we are harassed for or about, everyone has something about themselves that causes them to not quite fit in to the mainstream.  I say -- let's put the fun back in and figure out what gifts we have to offer.  We, you and I, have something no one else can bring to the world -- what is it?

Christmas Thought #2

Gift buying is both a blast and an awful experience depending on who I am buying for.  There are some people who will love whatever you give them because they are just thankful people who can see the treasure in the gift and the giver.  And then there are those people who won't like what you give them regardless of the amount of time, energy and money you spend on them.  These are the people that keep me up at night!  I've finally decided that this is their problem and not mine.  I do my best to choose something that is appropriate to that person and their likes and I offer it with love.  That is my end of the exchange and I hope for the best.   I'll move my energy on to something a bit more edifying.

Christmas Thought #3

Believe what you believe and embrace it.  I spend so many years trying to keep Santa out of my Christmas because others made me feel guilty.  As children came along, I agonized over the role I would give Santa in their holiday.  I celebrate the whole darned package and love it.  I believe in Jesus as the divine Son of God and I believe in the place of Santa as a chapter in the story of Christmas. 

There's a resale store in Fenton that I love!! I try to visit Fratz once a week just to see what treasures are new.  As a lover of nativities and Mrs. Claus, I kept close tabs on the Christmas section.  Early on I spotted a 2 foot tall Mary and Joseph that looked to be outdoor statues.  But there was no Baby Jesus to be found.  By the time Christmas was over, you could purchase this very nice 2/3 of a nativity scene for about $7.00.  It was a great buy, but a significant part of the set was missing.  Who wants a Mary and Joseph? It's not a bargain if it isn't what you want!  If you don't believe it, there's no use trying to buy into it.

Christmas Thought #4

Be fully present where you are -- not only during the holidays, but always.  It is difficult to fully enjoy a gathering with friends when you are already worrying about the plate of snacks you are taking to another party in two days, and so on and so forth.  One of the biggest challenges in life is to learn this lesson -- to savor each moment when you are in it.  Life will be so much tastier this way!!

Now we are on to the New Year.  This is a time full of new beginnings and new possibilities.  I'm ready.

Making Room for the Best of Things

It isn't a pretty subject, some might say it is down right rude to even bring the subject up.  Bringing up the topic certainly isn't ladylike, but I have to tell you where I started in order to take you with me on the journey.  I had a colonoscopy this week.  I know, it's a procedure that makes grown men cringe and one necessary to promote a long and healthy life.

As any one knows who has ever had one, it is not the actual colonoscopy that is arduous --  its the preparation that causes one to reconsider it's importance.

The whole idea is that before you go in for the test that probes your very innards, you must remove all obstacles by completely cleaning out your intestinal tract.  That is the indelicate portion of this post.  Quite simply -- you drink lots of this ghastly medicine that makes you go to the bathroom -- a lot. 

By the time I was propped up on my bed, waiting for my turn, I was completely exhausted and in a rather foul mood.  Can you blame me?  For at least two hours I waited, so I had oodles of time think of all the things I could be doing and to ponder the very meaning of life.

It occurred to me that we, as the human species are pretty good at coming up with and carrying out multiple tests and procedures to make sure our bodies are as healthy as possible.  What an incredible thing it would be if we could have such tests to monitor the health of our emotional heart or the passion of our soul?  Who would be an expert?  Who would be able to obtain the education and experience necessary to proctor such a test?  Who would decide what is healthy and what isn't?  Would I even want another person to measure my emotional or spiritual health?

Before the nurses, doctor and such came to whisk me away, I arrived at three important conclusions.

Important Conclusion #1: It isn't up to me to tell someone else of their spiritual or emotional health. It is up to me to be supportive and serve as a sign post when called upon. By the same token, I don't have the freedom to pass the buck and let someone else serve as the decider of my growth.  It is my responsibility, no one elses.  I can't blame any one but me for my lack of growth.  Judgement stays with me about me.

Important Conclusion #2:  You have to get rid of the garbage, the waste, the stuff that is no longer needed, the crap in all areas of life.  With a society of hoarders, we do attempt to keep all sorts of things longer than we should -- hurts, old out dated ideas, hate, negative emotions, grudges, judgement.  Just like I needed to clean out my colon, we need to clean out the house -- both the one built of mortar and brick and the one that represents the heart and soul. 

Important Conclusion #3: When we've been cleaned out, we are hungry for something good! I was starved after many hours of fasting.  I wanted a warm bowl of soup or a salad full of healthy vegetables. Once the crud is cleared out of our emotional and spiritual house, we are starved for something nutritious that helps us grow and be healthier than we were before.

I got through the test just fine and my colon health is set for another five years or so.  Isn't it amazing how something so unpleasant can cause one to be pushed a bit further on the journey of growth.

My Nest is Emptier

Nicholas 2 and Arden 4 -- about 16 years ago.

As a young person I couldn't get out into the world fast enough.  I was ready to conquer the world and was grateful for the springboard provided by my hard working  Mom and Dad.  Only, I didn't realize then just how hard working they were and how much they did for me.  Truth be told, I thought I was done with my parents.  The folly of my youth. It pains me to admit it, but it took me years to get past that misconception.  A little confidence and knowledge can be an unruly evil beast when not perceived fully.

As I young mother I laughed in the face of the "Empty Nest Syndrome." It would be a lifetime before I would have to worry about such psychological psycho babble.  I would have a thriving successful career, lots of friends and more than enough to fill any relational void my children would leave.

I did make an effort to embrace every phase of my children's lives. "Oh what a relief it will be when the children are out of diapers!" friends would offer.  "Such independence you'll have when they are off too school all day" and on the sage advice of hurriers of times passage.  My least favorite comment was when folks would tell me -- "If you think this age is tough, just wait until they are teenagers."  Great.  Thanks for the encouragement.

I needed my parents again -- sometimes close by, sometimes more of a distance was what I wanted. There was a growing sense that my parents were always going to be in a relationship with me.  One day I fumbled with my words as I tried to tell my mom how much I loved my children. "Honey," she interjected, "that's how I've always felt about you."  At that moment love crashed in and I finally understood.  I didn't just discover parental love, it had been going on for the ages.  I finally had an adequate emotional experience to understand my mom and dad's love.

My children are incredible wonderful young adults.  They are smart, loving beautiful people and I am so proud to be part of their journey. In the picture above, my son Nicholas is now almost 18 and a senior in high school. My daughter, Arden is 20 and in college.  They are both independent people eager to make their own way in the world.  That is how it should be --- it is the way of life. 

They spend less and less time at home with me. And, yes, I know that is the normal thing.  BUT I am not completely happy about it. This empty nest thing is real.  There is so much space in life that used to be filled by all the things of having children. So, I'm on the next stage of my journey.  Change is not my favorite thing either.

 Adventure is something that I do enjoy.  I am so very fortunate because I have four best friends -- my husband, my mom, Arden and Nicholas.  I am loved and I love completely and whole heartedly.  Sometimes it hurts to do that, but I wouldn't have it any other way.

My nest? For now I'm fluffing and refeathering it, looking for what's next.  Whatever I do, I am quite sure that my heart will never be empty.

When Less Really is More

Downsizing, simplifying, making do with less -- all terms of the current economy and challenge to many of us. As I've searched for ways to spend less and yet still maintain a satisfying lifestyle, I have discovered a few things about money and about myself.

I'll never forget the first time I purchased make-up. I was a 7th grader and had been thinking about the application of colorful beauty enhancing products for some time. I was in a drug store with my mom and a 2 for $1.00 make-up stand was more temptation than I could fight.

Two items were purchased that day. The first was an eye shadow with two color compartments. On one side there was a ghastly green and the other a non-committal white.  The second product didn't leave such a powerful impression, however I think it was a blusher.

 Mom registered her concern about what Dad would say about me wearing make-up -- I ignored it.  In retrospect, I think she should have been more concerned about the eye shadow shade I'd chosen.

For all of my teen years and college years I purchased my cosmetics at a drug store. But once I had a job and could afford more, I went right out and paid more.  It was nothing to go to the nice department store and drop $100.00 on "essential" cleansing and make-up products.  It can be painfully expensive to look nice!

In the larger scope of things, I have decided that high priced make-up was no longer a necessity for me. Is it better? Is it a higher quality? Maybe, but why did I need to use it? The best reason I can come up with is because I could.  That's a heck of a reason.

"So why do we upsize in the first place?"

So I started wondering why we upsize in the first place.  We choose our expenditures so that they increase to fit our budget.  I'm no expert, but that can't be good financial planning. Perhaps it's a cultural thing, but we seem to think that we are entitled to spend more on our clothing, our furnishings, our cars, our houses, and our make-up as we get older and perhaps earn more.

I'm not buying my cosmetics in the big department store anymore -- I'm going to Target and Walgreen's. For a fraction of the price, I'm getting the same thing.  I don't think my appearance is any different, but I certainly feel better about spending less. 

Now I'm on the hunt for similar expenditures.  What else do I spend more on than is necessary? What can I buy used? What can I do without? Where and with what can I be more creative? What has been sold to me as a bill of goods that is completely unnecessary.

It's kind of like going thru the fast food drive thru and ordering a combo meal -- cheeseburger, fries and a Dr. Pepper.  Then they have to ask you if you'd like to super-size that!  What a bargain! I have to admit that I've said "yes!" a time or two -- and I've always regretted it.  If I eat those super-sized fries, there's no way I can eat my cheeseburger!  It's more than any one person should eat. We don't need it.

I am determined to stop upsizing and supersizing. I'm enjoying the challenge of doing just the opposite and making my money do more for me and my family.

My Flock Has Arrived

Here's little Periwinkle a three day old Black Australorp.

Pansy is a White Plymouth Rock

The Fenton post office called at 6:50 am to tell me that my chicks had arrived.  I've been extremely excited about having my chickens, but I think the news could have waited another 10 minutes!

Two of them hatched on just Monday and arrived today -- Wednesday.  I think the orpington is a day younger. She is a little smaller and appears to be slightly less developed and aware.  I do hope she is alright.

Periwinkle and Pansy started eating immediately, so there's no concerns in regards to the two older girls. 

I've been waiting to have my little flock of chicks for about two years now, so I'm so happy to have chickens back in my life again. They are rewarding little creatures, with the ability to soothe and entertain.

My two dogs are very curious as you might guess.  The schnauzer, Truffle, would like to play with them and lick them "hello." Delli, my dachshund, on the other hand, would prefer them in nugget form.

As I write, Petunia is nestled just inside my shirt as she is comforted by the warmth and perhaps even the sound of my heart.  Pansy and Periwinkle are chirping delightfully on my dining room table.  What a beautiful song!





All three babies.

Babies in a buggy.

Grandma Dot's framed quilt piece (foreground)