Tuesday, September 18, 2012

The Oreo Cookie Life

Me being kissed by my Daddy.
I'm trying to lose weight for the 10,000th time! When did I first think of needing to diet? As I recall, it was in high school when the cheerleaders started selling candy bars.  And wouldn't you know I had science with one of these candy toting, short skirted beauties -- it got to be a habit.  And then a friend and I would periodically split a large pizza with everything.  I thought I was a real porker back then.  I now see photos and I wasn't fat at all.  Why didn't some body set me straight?

The photo you see to the left was taken 22 years ago -- I thought I was fat back then, too.  Do I look fat to you? I do not, thank you very much. I should have just felt beautiful that day, but I was worried about my weight.

NOW, I'm overweight. Really. It says so on all the height and weight charts -- that or I should be about 8 feet tall in order to balance out my weight. Now, I feel miserable, I look terrible and my health is being negatively effected by my tonnage. It's time to do something about it!

In the double stuffed Oreo image of life -- I am the double cream.  The crispy outsides to my puffiness are my mom and my daughter. For most of my life my mom has been a size 2.  Yes, 2.  My daughter, age 19 is a size 0.  Try living in the middle of a tiny mom and an itty bitty daughter.  This sounds an awful lot like an excuse of some sort, it's true. But it is difficult to embrace your own beauty when your jean size is the size of your mom's and your daughter's if they were put side by side -- 20. 

I am a person of worth. My weight doesn't dictate or define my value as a human being.  Thankfully it just doesn't matter if my soul is chubby or svelte. I can embrace my beauty right now.  Sound haughty? No! No, it does not.  I am a beautiful woman at size 20 and each size I shrink to until I reach my goal.  My goal is to wear a size 14 or 16 jean.  I can achieve that goal.  And part of the reason I can achieve that goal is because I love me, and care about my health. I'm having to work at that on a daily basis, because sometimes that woman in the mirror shocks me.

Today was my weigh in day at Weight Watchers. I have now lost 10.8 pounds.  Yahoo!  I'm on my "weigh!" Have you ever taken a close look at any weight loss advertisement? Somewhere on the bottom of the ad, in fine print a disclaimer will read, "Results not typical." In other words, those people who have achieved major weight loss and some physical sense of success are the rare ones.  Most people who set out to lose weight don't usual make and/or keep their weight goals.  I don't want to be typical either. 

What I do want is to--
1. Feel good about myself
2. Alleviate joint pain
3. Improve my energy level and endurance
4. Look better
5. Feel just a little bit sexy

In the meantime, I'm going to love myself through the process. I'm going to declare myself beautiful -- to myself and believe it.  I will remind myself of that everyday -- perhaps several times a day, or as needed.

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